


They Say You Can't Go Home

by talkingsoup



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Family, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Gen, Gift Fic, coming home, the ghost cousins reunited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-16 21:01:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11260926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talkingsoup/pseuds/talkingsoup
Summary: Mettaton goes home.





	They Say You Can't Go Home

**Author's Note:**

> Gift Fic for my friend Vanessa!

This was, quite possibly, the hardest thing he had ever done.

 

Harder than leaving had been, certainly. Harder than his very first performance. Harder than rigging the timing exactly right on all those bombs, especially the dog bomb--that particular dog is notorious for never cooperating. Harder than facing the human, knowing what it would mean if he won…and knowing what it would mean if he lost.

 

Harder than hearing his cousin’s voice on the phone, even.

 

The funny thing was that he had thought this might be easy. Just put on his best face, march up to his cousin’s door and knock. Simple. He was an actor, after all, and acting like you weren’t nervous was at least sixty percent of the job. It  _ should have _ been a simple thing. The barrier had been destroyed, monsters were free, and soon Mettaton would be performing for crowds of both humans and monsters. As was always his goal. What else was there to worry about?

 

Yet here he was, standing on his cousin’s doorstep, frozen. He’d been standing motionless for…it must have been about five minutes, but it felt like hours. He shouldn’t do this. He  _ couldn’t _ do this. He couldn’t just put himself back in their life when it had been so long. Napstablook didn’t even know who he was. He had disappeared, left his cousin behind without an explanation or even a goodbye, something he had always regretted. It was too late, wasn’t it? It had to be much too late to fix any of this.

 

He had even thrown away his house key. Years ago now. He had never planned on coming back home.

 

But now…he had to. After everything that happened, he had to at least  _ try  _ to reconnect with the person who had once mattered the most to him. He had to try and apologize.

 

If only he could knock on their door.

 

He raised a hand. Lowered it. Sighed to himself. This wasn’t like him at all. Since when did such a talented performer forget the lines? The entire script? The main character raises a fist and knocks assertively on the door. The door opens, and the main character’s cousin floats there. The main character apologizes. And then…

 

Life wasn’t a performance. Sometimes he really, truly forgot that.

 

He raised his hand again.

 

“um…hello…?”

 

Mettaton nearly jumped out of his metal plating. He spun on his heel. There was his cousin, floating directly behind him, expression confused.

 

“Bl--ah, I mean, Napstablook!”

 

“oh…i’m sorry…i didn’t mean to scare you…”

 

“No, no, darling, forgive me, I was just…surprised!” Mettaton drew himself up and gave a perfect little laugh, trying to clear the awkwardness. A performer of his caliber should always be ready for some improvisation. “I was just about to knock on your door!”

 

“aren’t you…mettaton?”

 

Mettaton spread his arms and gave a cheerful smile. “In the flesh, so to speak!”

 

“oh…oh dear…” Napstablook began to slowly fade. “mettaton came to see me…what should i do…”

 

“Ah--wait, darling, don’t go--please.” Mettaton reached toward them, then drew his hand back. He wouldn’t be able to touch them in this form. Not unless they let him.

 

Napstablook remained just barely visible, no doubt anchored by vague curiosity. They had to be wondering what in the world the most famous monster in the Underground was doing on their doorstep. It was heartening. A few years ago, they would have vanished entirely, their anxiety getting the best of them.

 

“I’m sorry for showing up unannounced,” Mettaton said, trying to keep his voice light despite his nerves. “But I--I recognized your voice over the phone. I had to come say…say hello and thank you to my biggest fan.”

 

Napstablook’s upper half bent somewhat to the side, as if they were tilting their head.

 

“it…it was nothing. i wanted to show my support. when i thought you might…never do another show…it made me sad.” They paused. “you…recognized my voice? have…have we met…?”

 

Mettaton folded his hands together in front of him, trying not to fidget. A star did not fidget.

 

“Well, that’s…that’s a funny--that’s a bit of a story. The stuff of high quality television--the reunion episode!” Mettaton bit his lip and looked away. “I’m--sorry. Maybe that’s a silly way to put it. Sometimes the persona is…”

 

It was hard. Not always--very rarely, in fact--but there were moments here and there. Where all the glitz and glamour of a celebrity lifestyle just felt…hollow. As hollow as all the metal and glass and wires that had once simply been a shell, a milestone on the way to true physicality. Mettaton never regretted leaving the farm, never regretted who he was and what he had become. But there were times that he missed it. Missed the quiet and the damp and the trickle of water. Missed Napstablook humming to themselves when they thought no one was listening.

 

Sometimes he even missed the snails.

 

He had always thought that to become a  _ real  _ star, you had to give up every other aspect of your life, leave behind anything that didn’t make you shine as bright as possible. But perhaps it wasn’t that simple.

 

“I’m sorry.” Mettaton smiled again, more genuine this time. “May I come in? I think maybe we should talk. I want to thank you properly and--explain myself. Before everyone leaves the Underground behind.”

 

“mettaton in my house…”

 

Mettaton was sure that Napstablook would be blushing if they could.

 

“i haven’t cleaned…the spiders are still there…”

 

“That’s fine, darling, truly. I don’t mind at all!”

 

He waited, trying to be patient. Napstablook floated up and down, fading in and out as they debated with themselves.

 

“okay.”

 

Mettaton beamed. Napstablook floated to the door and became corporeal enough to turn the knob and push it open. Mettaton followed them inside.

 

Their house was almost exactly as he remembered. The layout hadn’t changed, though Napstablook had upgraded their computer and their sound system. They’d always had a knack for finding good quality electronics in the dump. It was a little dusty, and some spiders were having a bake sale in the corner, but it wasn’t so bad.

 

It was like home.

 

“You--have a very lovely home, Napstablook.” He couldn’t keep the wistful tone out of his voice.

 

Napstablook hovered near the refrigerator.

 

“do…do you want anything to eat? oh……...i forgot. i only have ghost food…….”

 

“That’s fine, really.” Mettaton didn’t think he could stomach food right now, ghost or otherwise.

 

“i’m sorry…it’s…definitely not up to your standards…”

 

Napstablook started to fade out again, morose. Mettaton raised a hand.

 

“Blooky, please, it’s alright. I promise it’s…”

 

He trailed off, realizing what he’d said. Napstablook stared at him. Mettaton pressed a hand delicately to his mouth.

 

“…did you…call me ‘blooky’?”

 

“I…yes. I did.”

 

Mettaton wanted very much to just lie down on the floor and feel like garbage. Napstablook was still staring at him, and he couldn’t meet their eyes.

 

“only one person…used to call me blooky……..”

 

Mettaton covered his mouth fully. He would not cry. He would not cry and ruin his makeup, but god did he want to.

 

“It’s--it’s me. It’s me, Blooky.”

 

There was a long silence.

 

“you went away.”

 

“Yes. I’m so sorry, Blooky. I’ve…I’ve been so selfish. I wanted to pursue my dreams, and I thought--I was wrong, I was so wrong to just leave you like that.”

 

“dr. alphys…she……..built a body for you?”

 

“Yes. She’s…she really is quite brilliant.”

 

“you always used to talk about how…badly you wanted a body. but…how it was impossible. you only…wanted the perfect form.” Napstablook stared at him, fading somewhat. “you wanted everything perfect.”

 

Mettaton hung his head, ashamed. Napstablook floated a little closer to him, expression unreadable.

 

“you…changed your name?”

“That--that name just--wasn’t me, Blooky. I’m sorry.” Mettaton shook his head, afraid to look at his cousin. “I’m Mettaton. This is who I am.”

 

“oh…no…….i’m sorry…..i wasn’t….judging or anything. i remember you used to say that before…how your name didn’t feel like…yours.” Napstablook floated a little closer again, uncertainly. “you were never really…happy here. but you are now…right? you can be who…you want to be. you’re…happy. right?”

 

“I am.” Mettaton smiled faintly, though his voice was trembling. He wrapped his arms around himself. “I love who I am now. I love my life. I love my fans. I don’t…I don’t regret leaving. But I regret leaving  _ you. _ ”

 

Napstablook wilted a little.

 

“i would have just weighed you down…….”

 

“You never weighed me down, Blooky.” Mettaton gave his head a vigorous shake. “I shouldn’t have left the way I did. I’ll explain everything if you want to hear it. Hearing your voice on the phone, it…the cameras were still rolling after that, weren’t they? I meant every word I said. You made me remember how much I cared about my fans. And how much I--cared about you.”

 

Mettaton chanced a look up at Napstablook. Their eyes were starting to well up, so Mettaton dropped his gaze again, guilt flooding him. The plating on his chest felt tight. His air vents felt as though they’d been clogged, even though he could hear and feel the fans whirring. It had been so long since he could say exactly what he felt and meant, without some act or facade.

 

“i…i wish you hadn’t left like that…but i think i understand why you did it…”

 

“I should have explained. I…” Mettaton dabbed carefully at an eye with his pinky finger. He would not cry. It would ruin the scene. “Can you ever forgive me?”

 

Napstablook was quiet for awhile, and Mettaton didn’t dare look up. He couldn’t bear to see rejection on his cousin’s face.

 

Then he heard Napstablook sniffling.

 

“i…i think so…….mettaton i’m….i’m happy you came to see me…..and told me the truth….i need to think…...about all of this, but i…..i think i do forgive you.”

 

Mettaton raised his head in time to see Napstablook float forward, closing the distance between them both. He gasped a little as the ghost pressed against his chest, semi-solid. It was as close as a ghost monster could get to a hug. They were crying in earnest now, fat tear bullets rolling down their form and falling to the floor.

 

Mettaton very carefully raised his arms. Just as carefully, he wrapped them around his cousin. Napstablook was…tangible. Just barely. Just enough to hug them back. You could only touch a ghost if they let you.

 

And Mettaton allowed the last traces of performance fall away. He hugged his cousin tight to himself and began to cry.

 

And the tears didn’t even hurt.


End file.
